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Deal-breakers

January 16, 2011

Deal-breakers. Everybody has ‘em. For some people it’s bad teeth, or a lack of bladder control. But mine are much more specific. I did some real soul searching, and came up with my top ten deal-breakers. Here they are:

  1. You don’t know the difference between you’re and your, or their, there, and they’re. OR you do know the difference but still use the wrong ones.
  2. You don’t know what a muggle is. Or, for that matter, what a puggle is.
  3. You always win. (I really like to win, and cannot be deprived of this 100% of the time).
  4. You hold your mom’s hand when you go for a walk together. And even worse, you want to hold mine at the same time.
  5. You take dating advice from this guy.
  6. You weigh less than me. This is a very strict rule, and must be obeyed throughout the duration of the relationship. Failure to comply will result in immediate termination of the relationship without notice.
  7. You ask me if I play basketball. No, I do not. Neither do most of the other tall people of this world.
  8. You can wiggle your ears. I just cannot handle the jealously. Side note: Neal, if you are reading this and thinking “Hey! I can wiggle my ears! What does this say about our relationship?” Well, I hate to break it to you, but you can’t wiggle your ears. You can move your cheeks. And anyone can do that. Sorry.
  9. You’re “not a dessert person”. (You have to wonder what is wrong with a person who claims not to like dessert. Everyone loves dessert. Even ferrets.)
  10. You like to watch me sleep. And then leave me notes on my pillow before you disappear in to the night.

In keeping with the theme of this blog, I have also compiled a list of things that should be deal breakers but for some reason, are deal makers:

  1. Your neck hair joins in to your beard in a werewolf-like fashion.
  2. You don’t hate winter.
  3. Babies like you more than they like me.
  4. You hate massages.
  5. It would be possible to comb, style, and braid your leg hair.
  6. You shave your face with rum scented soap.
  7. You think mustaches are cool.
  8. The only thing you love more than beer is baking bread.
  9. You don’t believe in unicorns.
  10. You refuse to let me put makeup on you.
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9 Comments leave one →
  1. January 16, 2011 3:08 pm

    I guess #10 rules out Edward Cullen (Maybe #8 too. Vampires can wiggle their ears, right? Come to think of it, he wouldn’t like dessert either…)

    You don’t play basketball? That’s too bad. Do you at least enjoy the thinner atmosphere up there? 😉

    • January 16, 2011 5:10 pm

      I ruled out Edward Cullen quite awhile ago. Although many people have noticed a resemblance between him and Neal (I think it’s the hairy chest).

      And the thinner atmosphere is nice. I felt well prepared for when I hiked Kilimajaro. Sadly, feeling something, and being something are not the same…

    • quiddlebee permalink
      January 16, 2011 6:17 pm

      Now I’m starting to wonder a) how you can see Edward’s chest hair under all that glitter, and b) why so many people have seen Neal without a shirt… ?

      On a more random note, I’m suddenly reminded of that line/catchphrase/fake talk show from 30 Rock: “That’s a dealbreaker, ladies!”
      …Oh, look, here’s a link: http://www.nbc.com/30-rock/exclusives/dealbreaker/

      • January 16, 2011 8:00 pm

        One word for you. V-neck shirts. Okay, that was two words. But you catch my drift.

    • January 16, 2011 9:21 pm

      That was not an image I wanted in my head.

  2. Shannon permalink
    January 17, 2011 1:05 pm

    #6 is very interesting….look at this article in the Globe and Mail today. You are not alone on this one.

    http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/the-hot-button/happy-marriage-is-measured-in-wifes-waistline-study/article1871017/

  3. January 20, 2011 8:16 pm

    I hate massages too. Let’s date.

    • January 20, 2011 8:25 pm

      So does Neal. You should date HIM. I love massages. But I would still date you. You aren’t offended if I want to send you pictures of my cleavage. Deal MAKER.

      • February 8, 2011 1:09 pm

        I love you sending me pictures of your cleavage.

        And I’d much rather see your cleavage than Neal’s.

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